At times my optimism wavers and I have trouble finding the silver lining. It is starting to feel that for every step forward I take I am knocked down and forced to start back at square one.
This morning I came across a saying and it has brought me back to the state of mind that I need to be in:
“Don’t Forget, Two Steps Forward and One Step Back is Still Going in The Right Direction.”
Last week I had what I thought was my final pre IVF appointment, the mock transfer and a saline ultrasound. While the mock transfer went as expected the ultrasound did not. A small polyp was found on my uterus. Nothing scary or dangerous, but not good when I am about to start IVF. My infertility specialist has decided that it needs to be removed before I can start on with my IVF journey. SO…. my IVF calendar has been canceled. And, according to my nurse, I won’t be able to schedule my new IVF calendar until about a month after the procedure. WHAT!! That is the part that is really hard to take.
I feel ready to start. I have been anticipating the beginning of this journey. I have been sitting around waiting for this to start and now I am back to square one, no scheduled calendar. While I know I am lucky that the removal of a polyp is so routine and easy, I am having trouble finding the optimism. I just feel angry. I just feel annoyed. I just want to start IVF.
I am fortunate that my OBGYN is working to get me scheduled right away and there is a possibility that the removal will be scheduled next week. Fingers Crossed. I am ready to get over this hurdle and keep my steps forward moving!!