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Remaining Hopeful

IMG_1855 (1)I’m trying to find the balance of being excited for the possibilities and being extremely worried for what could happen. The egg retrieval went well. The nurses were very helpful and super sweet. The doctor said that the eggs they did retrieve looked great…they got 7.

Seven was not what I was expecting…I was expecting more.

I kept hope alive for the days leading up to the to egg retrieval and I had hoped that on the day of the retrieval they would be able to get at least 10. I am not sure why, but 10 is the number I would be ok with. That’s the thing with IVF..you can’t go in with expectations, because that is just not how it works.

I spoke with the embryologist yesterday and learned that 5 embryos fertilized. FIVE. I won’t get another report until Saturday, because they don’t like to check on the embryos more than they have to. I learned from her that usually half make it to the blastocyst stage, so we can expect 2.5 to make it to saturday. (Hopefully it’s a +.5 and I end up with 3)  Then we still have to do the chromosome testing and normally 60% come back with no chromosome issues. The numbers keep dwindling with each day..each step. The numbers break my heart. All I can do is wait until Saturday and see how many make it to day 5.

Per the usual my husband is staying optimistic and keeps repeating that it only takes one. Yes, it only takes one, but I want a family. I feel a bit defeated at the moment. I feel defeated that my numbers weren’t higher. I feel defeated that to have a family I may have to go through this experience again.

I am trying to remain positive and realize that I am so lucky to have at least 5 fertilized. I just need Saturday to hurry up and get here.

XO

21 thoughts on “Remaining Hopeful

  1. 5 out of 7 fertilized is actually pretty great. That means that those five are likely good quality. I only had 3 out of 8 fertilize, and I just knew then that there was something wrong with that batch of eggs. But yours seem to be on the right track! These few days are the worst part of IVF! Hang in there and keep the faith.

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  2. I’m sorry your numbers weren’t what you were hoping for. I can only imagine how disappointed you are. But, if 5 fertilized, it sounds like you ha e every reason to remain hopeful. I’ll be sending lots of positive thoughts in hopes that this IVF is a success.

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  3. my husband is always a glass half full guy and i would find it frustrating when i was not so hopeful. he is right though, it just takes one (even though you’re thinking more than one for your family). you have to start somewhere and one baby is the start. optimism it’s definitely the mind set you need right now follow your hubby’s lead and have hope. good luck!

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  4. IVF can be frustrating and unpredictable. I’m sorry you guys didn’t get the numbers you were hoping for. I’ve been there. I hope all goes well with the rest of your cycle. Hugs!

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