Today I had my WTF appointment with my fertility doctor, Dr. B.
I left the appointment just as confused and frustrated as when I went in. I walked into the appointment with some hope that there would be a simple answer as to why my pregnancies aren’t lasting and why 3 out of 5 have ended at the exact same time. Instead, I felt like we were just grasping at straws and that my best answer is to just hope for the best. That we just keep tossing embryos in my uterus and cross our fingers that one works.
But, I only have two embryos left and I am not sure I can take any more losses. So that approach isn’t ok with me.
Dr. B believes that my underlying issues could be with egg quality. The entire appointment he was focused on why my eggs could be functioning improperly when creating the embryo. That’s funny, I thought we went forward with IVF because it was a chromosome issue and we had our embryos tested to make sure they were of good quality. Now we are focused on my eggs and how they could be the root cause of my miscarriages. There isn’t an exact answer as to how or why my eggs are ruining the pregnancy, but he is convinced they are. However, I am not convinced. I need some more answers.
And to make it worse my AMH levels had dropped before we even started IVF. I don’t remember that conversation at all or being informed that my egg reserve could be lowering. Just another thing to add to my already long list of what’s wrong with me.
I went through my list of questions and brought up every autoimmune issue that I had written down. I still believe that this could be the underlying cause of why my pregnancies keep ending at the same time. According to Dr. B I have already been tested for all of the autoimmune issues I brought up, and my results all came back within normal limits.
The one thing that we decided we can do differently for the frozen embryo transfer is to add a blood thinner, lovenox, to the mix once I am 5 weeks pregnant and hope that it helps. There is not strong evidence that it would make the difference I need, but at this point I am willing to try anything. In the upcoming weeks I will be meeting with a hematologist at OHSU to make sure that the addition of lovenox would actually be beneficial.
After my appointment with Dr. B, I spoke with a nurse about what my next steps would be if I went forward with the FET. And guess what….it wouldn’t happen until October or even November.
WTF. That’s way to far in the future. I can’t deal with that time frame. I’m ready now. But I have to wait for my upcoming time of the month which should come in August and then it’s 7 weeks to the transfer. Weeks full of fun injections including the dreaded Progesterone Oil.
After today I am starting to understand that there are no easy or simple answers. If the next transfer doesn’t end in a successful pregnancy then I really don’t know what my next option would be. All I know is that I am getting to my breaking point and I don’t know how much more I can take.