For the past month I have felt that I am in the limbo phase of infertility. I am just sitting around waiting for something to happen. At this point in time I am not actively going to my fertility clinic or getting more blood draws; instead I am just sitting around waiting for things to happen.
And, things are moving slowly.
So, I am stuck in the middle of the Infertility Limbo. This nasty little time in my life where I am just waiting for everything to align so I can get back on track with my journey of trying to conceive.
If you have ever been in the limbo phase of infertility then you know how frustrating it can be.
It’s challenging for me because I don’t really know what is next. I can’t plan anything until things start slowly falling into place. At the moment I don’t really know where I belong in the world of infertility or in my ordinary every day world. In the world of TTC I am at a stand still and desperately want things to start moving forward. In my everyday world I am struggling. I don’t have a career to focus on at the moment and to dedicate my days to. I stopped working last fall when I realized that my infertility issues were consuming my life and all of my energy.So, I find myself trying to keep myself occupied and trying to to remain positive and hopeful.
At this moment in time I am waiting for my next cycle to start up after my latest miscarriage. It has only been 6 weeks, but as most of you know that can feel like a lifetime. It feels so backwards to sit around and wait for aunt flow to show up when for so many months I was praying she wouldn’t show. But, now I need her to rear her ugly head to so I can feel that I am getting closer to my next FET. She is a visitor that I don’t like to see often, but now I desperately need her to show up. Once she makes an appearance I will be able to take a sigh of relief and will feel that things are rolling into place.
I am also waiting to have my phone consolation with CCRM to get a second opinion on my unexplained infertility and what the heck is going wrong with all of my pregnancies. I know that there won’t be a magic answer to all of my problems, but for a piece of mind I need someone else to look over my charts. I need to feel that I am being taken care of and that nothing is falling wayside.
Once aunt flow shows up and I have my phone consultation with CCRM I will be able to feel that I am back in the game of infertility. I am so ready for this infertility limbo phase to be done with.