Decision time has arrived.
Am I ready to move forward with another FET or should I put it off a little longer. My very over-do friend, Aunt Flow, finally made her appearance yesterday and she is forcing me to make the decision of holding off or moving forward.
I keep going around in circles with what I should do. There are moments where I am sure that putting off the FET is the right decision for me, that I should give myself a few more months to relax and not think about infertility, IVF, or nasty PIO injections. But, then I realize that those things are never far from my mind and there really isn’t a good time to take a break. When dealing with infertility there aren’t moments where I’m not thinking about everything I’ve been through or what lies ahead for me on this journey. If I am honest with you and myself there aren’t days where I’m not planning my baby shower, where I don’t look at my secret baby registry, or where I don’t find myself consumed with thoughts of being a mom. These things have made their way into my everyday life and they’re not going away soon.
I’ve had to really sit down and think am I emotionally ready for another transfer; will I be able to handle it if it doesn’t work? I then realized that I will never be ready for another transfer to not work and it doesn’t matter if it’s six weeks or six months from now it will always be heartbreaking. I am ready to start-up again on this journey.
So, things are moving forward.
I picked up my birth control pills this morning and scheduled the proper appointments with my clinic. The one good thing that came out of my not so great visit with CCRM is that I am comfortable being where I am. I know that my clinics protocol for a FET is on par with the protocol at CCRM. I feel confident going into the FET that I have overturned every stone I could and I have done everything I can. Now, it’s just up to my body to return the favor.
I still have a few more things to get finished for CCRM before I move forward with the transfer and those should all be completed by next week. I did all the blood work yesterday and the major thing on my list is to complete the HSG. The HSG is getting scheduled and as long as that goes off smoothly then we should be fine to move forward.
I am so ready to move forward!