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Not The Way It Was supposed To Go

I find myself in the same situation that I have been in before.

My pregnancy made it just past 7 1/2 weeks, but then stopped growing.

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I feel broken, numb, and in a state of shock. I really thought this time was going to be different. I’ve been feeling the twinges and small symptoms that go along with pregnancy and I was holding onto hope so tightly.

 Around 6 weeks we saw a healthy heartbeat. I went on my way thinking that this time was going to work. That I have been through my trials with infertility and that I was finally being granted my healthy pregnancy, because there was no way that this could happen to me a sixth time.

But, it did happen again.

Before the ultrasound I told my hubby that for the first time I felt calm and I felt that we may finally have the baby we have prayed so hard for. But, as soon as I saw the screen and the dates that our baby was measuring I knew that things were not going my way. When you’ve seen enough ultrasounds go wrong you know what to look for and my tears started rolling down.

XO

68 thoughts on “Not The Way It Was supposed To Go

  1. I’m so sorry girl 😦 I am so mad that it didn’t work for you. This is so not fair and I can only hope they can give you some answers 😦

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  2. There are no words. I was so hoping with you that you’d be able to post a happy post this year. My heart breaks for you. Sending you thoughts of comfort and peace, and many prayers.

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  3. I am sorry. I too was hoping this was it and everything was going to be perfect! I am crying at this news. I am sending you hugs and support!

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  4. Your situation is all to familiar to us. We just lost our 5th baby within 3 failed pregnancies and all within the year. This is so heart wrenching. I feel your pain. I have such a strong desire for all of us fighting so hard to finally get what we’ve been praying and pleading for. I am so sorry for your loss. I know there’s nothing we can really say or do to help the situation…just keep in mind you have many people who love and care for you. You’re not only in their prayers, but the thoughts and prayers of the many of us who follow your story. I hope you can find comfort and love from those around you. 💗

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  5. I’m devastated to hear about this. So sorry about your loss. Stay healthy and clear your thoughts for the next course of action. You will be fine! God bless you…

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  6. I’m so so sorry. I have been thinking of you since I first saw the news on Instagram. My heart just breaks – I thought this would be your rainbow and was so hoping it would be true. I know all too well how this feels. I wish I could do something to help – just know you are in my thoughts. Sending you wishes for strength and peace…

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  7. My heart breaks for you. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why some women have to go through so much heartache getting to their take home baby. It’s not right and I can only hope and pray that things will get better soon…lots of love to you..xo

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  8. I’m so sorry to hear this, I have been following your blog as you have been going throught ivf at about the same time as me. I found out today that there had been no growth since our last ultrasound 2 weeks ago. I thought of you and hoped that yours had kept going…

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      1. We got her name from Dr.H when we asked about reproductive immunological questions. He dont believe in that kind of treatment as it is not a well researched field. But we found lot if research papers online and we are convinced. We went to chicago Dec first week. All i need is an answer for my 4 losses in 6-7 weeks. As Dr.H didnt have any answer after lot of tests, we went to chicago to see her. Right now i am waiting for my follow up phone consultation for my blood results. Will keep you updated!

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        1. I look forward to hearing about what she has to say. I have asked a lot about my auto-immune issues and Dr. B and another doctor at ORM didn’t give my questions much thought, but I believe in it. All my losses are also between 6-7 weeks. I hope that you get some answers!!

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