It’s time I recorded all the awkwardness that goes along with infertility struggles.
When the doctor first told my husband and me that we should do IVF and started to explain the procedure our conversation went a little something like this:
Me: “Do I have to use my husbands sperm”? (Obvi, I was kidding)
Doctor: “That is between you and your husband”.
Husband: “Do you think we could use Tom Bradys”.
Me: “That would be ideal”!
While getting my blood drawn for the up-teenth time, the phlebotomist decided to have a conversation with me:
P: “So are you pregnant”
P: “Are you part of the stouts from around here? You must have just seen their new baby and got baby fever.”
Me: “Nope, don’t know them. I’m doing these blood draws trying to get pregnant”
P: “Oh, well you’re so young. Once you stop trying that’s when it just seems to happen”
Me: “Thanks” (What I wanted to say…F Off)
At a football game tailgate with friends who don’t know my fertility struggles
Friend: “When are you going to finally have a baby, it’s about that time”
Me: “Oh, yah, we’re working on it”
Friend: “Yah, you know you should do blah blah blah, That’s how its worked for everyone else”.
Me: “Ok, ill work on that”.
At a friends bridal shower.
Friend: “When are you guys going to have kids, you don’t really like them do you?”
Me: “Umm, yah, I love kids. No rush”
At the doctors office when I found out the first pregnancy was not viable.
Doctor: Explaining to me the options if miscarriage doesn’t happen naturally.
Me: “Can I just go home and chug a bottle of wine, will that make it happen quicker”.
Doctor: No response, just a blank stare.
Waitress in my hometown: You look wonderful for a pregnant lady.
Me: Umm, nope, not pregnant, just chubby and wearing a baggy sweatshirt.
Waitress in my hometown: You’re not pregnant? I swear someone said you were.
Me: Nope, definitely not pregnant.
Waitress in my hometown: OMG, so sorry. Oh, it must be so and so I am thinking off. So sorry.
Me: That’s ok, I get confused with her a lot. (complete lie as she is from Mexico and looks nothing like me) I guess I’ll start my new years resolution to loose weight now!